Prayer // Ask

Coming soon!

Hey, stand with me real quick while we read God's word this morning. We're gonna be reading out of Psalms, chapter 139, verses one through four.

It says this, "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. "You know when I sit and when I rise. "You perceive my thoughts from afar. "You discern my coming out and my lying down. "You are familiar with all my ways. "Before a word is on my tongue, "you, Lord, know it completely." Father God, today is we just continue to press into your word and learn about prayer and learn what it means to access your heart and to speak with you and to speak truth and promise over our lives. Father God, we just invite you into this place.

We pray that your spirit continues to move here in this place, that all the distractions of the world around us can be silenced in this moment and that we can come and be fully focused and engaged in the word and the message that you have for us today.

That can take us out, that can continue to move us forward and are weak as we go forward and produce fruit, Father, in our lives. It's in your holy name we pray, amen. Amen.

All right, you may be seated. You may be seated.

I am so excited about today. I've been looking forward today. So we're in week three of our prayer series. The first week we did what we talked about is within our four things that we're looking at with prayer was talking to God, talking to God. And we talked about what it means to look at more liturgical prayers or pre-written prayers and how we can utilize those and incorporate those in our lives and what they mean and what times that they're appropriate and how they can express our heart and ways that we can partner in that. And so if you miss that, you can go online and you can either get that on YouTube or the podcast, which by the way, I do have a side note, podcast, public service announcement because I had multiple conversations, not just one, not just two, three, multiple people, and I'm not gonna say any names because I don't wanna embarrass anyone, but then I said, yeah, they were talking about how they were watching the previous thing. They were out of town. They're like, "I was watching it on YouTube. "I was in my car and I was watching it on YouTube." And I was like, "That's dangerous. "I know I'm very compelling to look at." But I said, "But you know, you could just get the podcast "and do that." They're like, "Yeah, I do. "I get the YouTube and then I can't lock my phone "'cause I don't have YouTube premium "and I just have a streaming on my card." I said, "Well, we have a podcast."

Like an actual podcast, that's just the audio. And by the way, one of these was a staff member. I'm not gonna tell you who, but there's only seven, so you can figure it out.

And they're like, "We actually have a podcast?" And I'm like, "Yeah, like Apple Podcasts, Spotify, "like all those places. "We've had it since 2003."

And he was like, "I never knew." Oh, dang, I said he. Oh, now there's only five. Oh man, I'm blowing it. And his long hair, no, I'm just kidding, sorry.

It was Charlie. He had no idea that we had a podcast, that he's been watching on his phone. He's like, "I've just been watching on my phone "using my data."

So I say all that to say, it's a real podcast.

And some of you are like, "Yeah, no duh. "I have also been subscribed to it since 2003." You say, "What does that have to do with the message?" Nothing, literally nothing. It's just a public service announcement. You don't even have to admit, if you're one of the people who are here who's like, "I also did not know we had a podcast." That's okay. There you go. Our subscriptions are gonna be through the roof from 19 to 20. Oh, it's gonna be amazing.

But so here's the thing, last week we also had a panel. Did anyone enjoy the panel last week? Man, I really would appreciate everyone who came up here and shared. We just heard a little bit of different perspectives, different thoughts, it was great. I loved and appreciated and valued what each person said. I was thinking about it both the rest of that day and throughout the week. But today we're gonna be talking about another step in our progression of prayer. And instead of talking to God, so like being able to read some of these prayers and liturgical ideas and things like the Lord's Prayer, we're gonna talk about talking with God. Talking with God. And basically what we're talking about is when we pray, and we pray with our own words, our own words, our own thoughts, our own ideas when we pray words. And I mentioned this a little bit last week, but there's kind of three subcategories of talking with God, are three different kinds of prayer that we're gonna talk about, and we mentioned them last week. So the first one is gratitude, the second one is lament, and the third one is petition and intercession. And I wanna share just a little bit about all of them, but we're gonna predominantly talk about petition, petition and intercession today. So gratitude, here's the thing that we can do about gratitude. It's just what we say, gratitude and prayers of gratitude are taking the opportunity to share with God all of the things that you see around you that are good, that are blessings, that you are thankful for. And here's the amazing thing about gratitude. When you begin to have this practice in your life, when you say, "I'm gonna take some time and I'm just gonna pray and thank God for what he's done." It could be something you do in the morning, it could be something you reflect in at the end of the day. It really could be just throughout your day. Something happens when you begin to start looking around and saying, "I wanna purposely and intentionally find things to tell God thank you for and be thankful for." Because it's really easy with our human nature to be overwhelmed by negativity and things that we're lacking. And so we can look around and say, "I'm missing these things." And instead we just keep asking about the things we're missing and instead of taking the time to be thankful for the things that we already have. And often, if you're like me, and remember throughout this entire prayer practice, I'm gonna be saying things that are basically just true for me. And if it happens to be true for you, well then praise God. But often, I will realize that there's like three or four things that are lacking and I'll focus on those things when there's hundreds and hundreds of things in which God's presence and bounty is there, but I don't thank him in those things, so I don't focus on things, I just focus on the negative. I'll give the church an example. Two examples for the church. There are two things that are constantly like a burden, like a frustration for me as a pastor here at this church. Two things, and you've heard me probably talk about one of them. One of them I already referenced today. Which is the church's debt, and our whole long story was debt. If you're new here, it's a long story. I can tell you that sometime over a cup of coffee, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and all of the things in between, it's great. The second thing you've also heard me talk about, anytime that it rains, which is our leaky roof. Those are the two things that really get me going sometimes. Because it's like things like we can't fix it, like I just wanna fix it, I want God to do something, I want the roof to either be ripped off or supernaturally healed, and like I pray about it, and I'm gonna keep praying about it. But it's like why can't we just figure it out? It's annoying.

And if I let myself, I can just focus on that. Like God, why have you not supernaturally fixed the roof?

Why haven't you eliminated our debt? Why haven't you, why haven't you this, this, this, this, and I can talk about it. But when I do that, if I do that, can you imagine how many things I'm ignoring that God has done in this church to this point, and will continue to do? How about the fact that we're sitting in this auditorium? How about the fact that we have a sound system that works? How about the fact that we have lights? How about the fact that we have a beautiful church congregation? How about the fact that we have people who come and serve and the people who give and that we've never missed a bill? And how about the fact that we don't have to worry about parking? And how about the fact that we don't have to worry about is there enough seats? And you say like, oh, well that's kind of, but like I have friends who are pastors who are like stressing out every Sunday because it's like I don't have parking.

I don't have enough seats. We can't feel, we had to turn people away. We got no room for kids. My volunteers are terrible. Have you heard my worship? It is not a joyful noise to the Lord.

Like I have friends every week, they're struggling with something. Now their roof doesn't leak. And they don't have four and a half million dollars in debt. But they got their own things. And guess what? I don't have to worry about any of those things. And if I instead of saying, God, why won't you fix the roof? Why won't you give me money? Why won't you fix the roof? Why won't you give me money? Why won't you fix the roof? Why won't you give me money? If I instead will start to list, but look at what you have done, and look at what you have done, and thank you for that, and thank you for that. And I will all of a sudden, instead of being overwhelmed by the fact that the roof leaks and the money is not there, I will be overwhelmed by how much goodness he has poured out into our church.

And you see, gratitude does that. If you just start, and it may start off as like, okay, well, it had to be, like, you know, if you've ever asked your kids, what are you thankful for? Like we're on Thanksgiving, and they're like, nothing.

And it's like, come on, there's gotta be something. Sometimes it only takes one or two. And then it's like, well, I get some muscle things. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Because that's what gratitude does, it snowballs.

And you see, when we do prayers of gratitude, we can see that the Psalms are full of moments, at least partial prayers of gratitude, like thanking God, whether it's for beauty or nature. Sometimes I take a shower, and I say, thank God for hot water. Like, thank God that I did not have to go to some water hole, dip out some bucket, start a fire, heat up the water, scald myself in the pot, like, thank God that I can turn a knob, and perfectly controlled hot water pours out. Like, what a God, what a world I'm living in.

And I mean it, like, I'm like, this is like the thing. When it's hot and the AC kicks on, I'm like, look, there is a God.

And He is good, and His mercy endures forever.

And when you begin to be thankful for all those things, man, it really transforms things. And often, and there's a lot of people who argue this, that literally the root of so many, and maybe some people who say of all sin, is in gratitude.

Not being thankful for what God's given. Even when you look back at Adam and Eve, it's the very original sin. God gives them everything, says, here's everything, just don't eat from that. And they're like, well, well, well, stingy much, God.

Won't let me have that one, huh? Because it's the best one? Because it's the one that will make me like you? Yeah, I thought so. Good try, bud.

I'm not trusting you.

Instead of being thankful for everything else,

they were like, you're keeping something from me.

And that wore out. So thankfulness is this process that keeps our heart aligned with God. It's the primary way that we can relate to God and see His generosity and His goodness. Colossians chapter two, verse seven, the second half it says, "And be overflowing with thankfulness." That we get to be overflowing with thankfulness. So the first type of gratitude. The second type, lament. And we've talked about this in different ways.

The Bible is full of lament. There's a whole book called Lamentations. But lament is this opportunity that we can talk about what is evil in the world and even what is evil in me that I'm wanting to open up and expose to God.

And to be totally open and honest. It can be things like grief or fear or anger. It can be all sorts of things that we can go through. And often some church traditions or how you grew up or just the way you interpret it, we're afraid to be honest or open with God about how we feel and what we're going through.

And so what happens is, is we are really kind and sweet to God and real positive to God. And then when we talk to our friends, we're really bitter and angry and frustrated and fearful and whatever.

And in fact, it goes even further. We'll talk to our friends and be frustrated with God. And then when we pray, we're like, but you're great. Like he doesn't know that you were just talking about him.

And we miss this opportunity.

C.S. Lewis has this great quote. He says, like when we lament to God, it says, "We can lay before God what is in us, not what ought to be in us."

Sometimes we pray what we think we ought to pray or what we should feel or like, oh, I've been a believer for a long time. I shouldn't be experiencing this.

And C.S. Lewis is like, no, no, no, you get to lay what is actually experiential in your life

and you get to give it to God. And here's the thing. And I know we all know this logically, but sometimes we all miss this, is that God already knows.

He already knows what you're going through. And so it's not like you're enlightening him that you are fearful or that you're frustrated or that you're angry or that you're mourning. What you are doing is you are finding the safest place to be able to go and to process those emotions in a way and in a time in which you are fully known, fully seen and fully loved, no matter what you're experiencing.

And so what you get to do is not this revelation for him, often it's a revelation for you.

That's why the verse that we read today, it says that, when we stood up, it says, "Before a word is on my tongue, Lord, you already know."

Two-third of all the Psalms are lament.

And we see the full gambit of things.

And when we pray, instead of complaining about God, we can complain to God.

And that is something that sometimes we're like, oh, I shouldn't complain to God.

We say that, but the Scripture is full of complaints to God.

And then God answering and loving and forgiving and all of those things. And so we get to walk through this process. And here's the problem, and this is the issue, and some of you experienced this on both sides.

If we do not go to God in the prayer with the things that we are experiencing, we end up going to someone else.

We go to a friend, we go to a spouse, we go to a pastor, we go to someone else who can listen

and maybe even can point us in the right direction, but ultimately we go to someone else who actually cannot offer hope.

You see, when I go to God, He can offer hope, even if I can't understand where it's coming from. Even when I'm like, I don't understand this, and why won't you do this, and when I'm frustrated or angry, I can go to Him and He can offer me hope and comfort and peace and direction and next steps. But when I go and I vent to someone else, maybe they can tell me some good news, maybe they can point me in the right direction, but maybe they're just gonna get tired of me complaining all the time and wear them out.

Sometimes we have to tell me that, like, hey, I love you, and she's very long suffering and will listen and she's here for words, but even she has been worn out by my grumbling and complaining, where she sometimes just says, hey, you may wanna go to God about that,

because it's not fair to do that to her.

Now, can I communicate with her any time? I'm always welcome to do that.

But God should be the first person that I go to in those moments, because it allows me to process that in a safe place. Now, so we have gratitude and we have lament.

The reason I'm gonna spend less time on those, although we could spend much, much more time, and we may touch base on them here in a few weeks, is typically the process of being diligent and taking time to thank God for things, we can do that even if it's just by habit, because if we look around, we've got so many things and the process kinda takes care of itself. And when we look at lament, once we find out, oh, yeah, I have permission to talk to God about what's going on, typically it's like, yeah, I got feelings, I can talk to God, I can do that, pretty easy.

But for me, this next category, this petition and intercession,

that is the category that I have probably some of the biggest hang ups and struggles and hurts and misunderstanding in my life of prayer.

Thanking God is pretty easy for me. Complaining with God and venting with God, I can do that.

But this next category is a struggle sometimes, because petition and intercession are the same as just what the subject is, it's either asking God to overcome evil with good is the core idea, petition is asking God to do it on my own behalf, so I'm asking God for myself. And intercession is I'm asking God to pursue something on someone else's behalf.

So if I'm asking God to do something for me, heal myself, provide me produce healing in my body, like that is something that I'm petitioning God for, just for definitions, like intercession is if I'm praying for one of my kids or one of you, like I'm interceding. And interceding also has this picture, this like priestly duty, like this thing of standing in this gap and being able to offer this belief and this faith on behalf of other people, it's really a true and beautiful expression of selfless love.

But here's the thing, and this is where it becomes an issue.

Often, often people struggle in this area of what to pray. What am I supposed to pray?

What should I do?

Because we don't want to be offensive, we don't want to be selfish. Maybe you came from a background where that kind of made it seem like, whether they said this or not, the way you appeared it, this is how I would, that there was like a certain kind of formula, and if you didn't get the formula right, then you messed it up. And then you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna do it." If you didn't get the formula right, then you messed it up.

Like that was kind of, it was like there was a whole thing.

And listen, it was not bad, it was all like they were trying, they were trying to create something, but it just created confusion, like stuff like you had to enter the gates with Thanksgiving, and then you could walk into the courts with praise, and then you had to petition with the, and listen, none of it was bad, it was all scriptural. But I remember being like, "Okay, so I really need a new Xbox. "So now I gotta figure out how to enter into the gates, "put then the where, the gates to the petition, the thing." I remember just being very confused, and being like, "Nevermind, I'm just gonna have to get a job."

(Congregation Laughing) Prayer could work with someone who could get that formula locked down, but I just don't have it. So I'm just gonna go work.

And here's what happens.

There's this really crazy principle that when we see Jesus teaching about prayer,

that is for someone like me, hard, it's a challenge.

Because if we were to take all of Jesus' theological teachings and examples of prayer and sum it down into one word,

the word would be ask.

Ask.

That if we were to look at everything that he says, Jesus has this idea of we need you, and this thing in prayer is ask God. And there's all sorts of stories about this. Mark chapter 11, 24, it says, "Therefore I tell you whatever you ask for in prayer, "believe that you have received it and it will be yours." John chapter 15, verse seven, it says, "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, "ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you." Like there's this concept of this idea of asking, even in his ministry of healing, when you walk through and you see the vast majority of healings, he requires the person to ask for help. To ask them for the request to be healed. Not all of them, and in fact, if it's very interesting, we'll talk about it later, the times that he didn't need to be asked.

But even times when it was very clear, things like the blind guy is like, "Please, heal me!" And then Jesus is like, "What would you like me to do?" And he's like, "Uh, the I thing?" "Oh, okay."

He has this idea of like, "I need you to ask."

And the New Testament is we even have even further, this idea of like asking in the name of Jesus, like in the name and the authority and the power of Jesus.

And there's a couple things that are going on at play that I think is important that we understand. The reason that we get to come through and like in Jesus' name, amen, is not just like some magical sew up that we put at the end of a phrase for it to count.

But like when you realize that when you are in Jesus, you've been given delegated authority and you've been given delegated power and you've been given delegated standing, that you are a son or a daughter of the Most High King, that Jesus is your elder brother, that you have a new family. And so when you boldly enter into the throne room of grace to petition your heavenly father, you are just not some unknown person going to him. You are a son or a daughter and whom the heavenly father is well pleased. So when you ask something through the name of Jesus, you are saying, I am here because I know that you have good things for me, that you want good things for me. And so I'm asking for it. I'm asking. I'm asking for you to move in this way.

But here's the thing.

Sometimes and even within the church today,

there's people who very much avoid asking God for anything.

I think there's a couple reasons why.

One, some people's view on God has become much less like what New Testament scripture paints and looks like a lot more like Greek mythology. Like, well, the gods are the gods and the fates are the fates and whatever happens happens and what can I do?

Like I can say something up there, but it's not gonna change anything.

So we just have this like, yeah, God will do whatever.

But the other reason that I think people are worried to ask is because the moment that you ask,

you now are vulnerable.

That's why I don't ask.

I don't ask because on the one hand, I think, well, if I do a good enough job, God's just gonna reward me. Because he's a faithful and just rewarder of those who he's pleasing. So if I just do a good job, I don't need to ask him to do this. Because he'll just do it for me on my behalf.

Because if I ask for help that becomes this vulnerable moment in which I say, I can't do this.

I can't make this happen.

I can't figure this out. I can't fix this relationship. I can't heal this thing. I can't produce this money. I can't fix my marriage. I can't do these kind of things. Like when I go and I ask God to show up, I'm having to admit that I cannot do it on my own.

And then the moment that I asked, now I'm saying, and I'm depending on you.

And the problem with asking is if you've ever asked God to do something, I'm sure you've had moments where you ask God to show up and he's done it, but I'm also sure that you've asked God to show up and something hasn't happened.

Or he shows up in the ways that are like, yeah, that's cool, but why won't you show up in the one I really am asking you about?

I'm asking.

And it only takes a few disappointments

to totally change and say, you know what? I'm just not gonna ask.

I'm just not gonna ask.

It's safer if I don't ask because then I won't be disappointed.

But the problem is Jesus says, ask, ask, ask. And then he even says in Luke chapter 11, he says, guess what? He tells that crazy prayer, well, this is right after he says, when you pray, pray this way, and he gives the Lord's prayer, right? And then he tells this parable, he says, there's this guy who has a friend who comes into town. So he goes to his neighbor who's already late in the sleep and he bangs on the door and he says, I've got people visiting, I need bread. And the neighbor says, get out of here, everyone's asleep. Which is, by the way, exactly what will happen if you come to my house.

I won't even go to the doors through the ring. You'll hear it through the ring.

We don't have any bread for you.

He says, he just kept on doing it. Vivi says she'd come down, which is probably true, but not me.

He says, he just keeps knocking and asking, he says, he will give them bread, not because of the friendship, but because he was so annoying that he showed up. He gave it to him. And then he said this, and some people say, oh yeah, so we're supposed to be anointing. No, no, no, you're missing the point.

You're missing the point. He says, if an evil person will give bread because someone was persistent in asking, how much more so will your heavenly Father, who wants to withhold no good things from you, give you exactly what you need and move on your behalf?

The only problem is, the problem where we do is sometimes, it doesn't happen in the timeframe that we think it should happen, it doesn't happen in the way that we think it should happen. It doesn't even look like the way that we think it should happen sometimes.

But he says, ask, ask, and you will see it.

Because when we ask, we're doing something.

And you may say it's assumed or it's subtle, but it's important. When I ask God for something, I am believing that prayer actually matters.

That prayer actually changes things.

That prayer actually does something.

I love this quote from Dallas Willard just a little long, it says this, "God's response to our prayers is not a charade. "He does not pretend that he is answering our prayers "when he's only doing what he was going to do anyway. "Our requests really do make a difference "in what God does or does not do. "The idea that everything would happen exactly as it does "regardless of whether we pray or not "is a specter that haunts the minds of many "who sincerely profess belief in God. "It makes prayer psychologically impossible. "We're praising it with a dead ritual at best." Of course, this is not the biblical idea of prayer, nor is it the idea of people whom prayer is a vital part of life. When we ask, we are saying, "God, I believe that you are good, "and I believe that prayer makes a difference, "and I believe that it matters.

"I believe that my prayers matter."

Now, that opens a big question

that maybe you've had, is how and why?

Am I changing God, am I moving God, am I doing something? And here's a couple things that happens in prayer.

When I pray and when I ask God for something,

I am operating in this way, I'm opening up this opportunity for God

to do something supernatural, to take the resource of heaven and the goodness of God and to bring it to this fallen state of man.

But I'm also praying and believing, and in this process of interceding and communicating with God, I am in this same time being formed into a person who looks like God and who is able to co-rule with God and who often becomes the very answer to the thing that is being prayed in the first place, that in the time of prayer and seeking and asking and experience His rich presence, I am being transformed more and more to His image. But the way that this happened is a little different, and we're gonna get a little nerdy. Can we get a little nerdy this morning? Yeah, okay, so hold on to your hats. So here's the thing,

there's something that is so missed in prayer in language, especially in the New Testament Greek, that's so important. So some of you I know that grammar is your favorite thing. I know, you're so cool.

And within grammar, we have different voices, right? You've probably heard this like the whole active or passive voice, right? And so I'll give you some examples, okay? So there's the active voice, and that's when like I, the person, initiates action, okay? So for example, I counseled my friend.

So I'm initiating something. My friend's going through a problem. I go to them and I give them counsel, right? That is active voice, okay? Now that means I'm doing something. The other voice, the passive voice, is that I am acted upon by someone else. So I don't do anything, but I'm acted upon by someone else, right? So in that example, it's like I'm counseled by a friend. So they're like, man, you really have problems with Ruth? And I'm like, yeah, and then they come and they give me counsel, and I am counsel, and that is passive. I'm the recipient. I don't do anything. They counsel me. So in active, I'm the one who's doing, and in passive, I'm the one who's receiving.

And so what happens sometimes when we talk about praying is, is often we think, okay, prayer is active. I gotta do it, I gotta do it, I gotta do it, I gotta do it. But if you've ever prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed, and you just keep doing it, and you keep doing it, and you keep doing it, all of a sudden you realize nothing's happening.

But I'm tired.

But I was actively doing the thing.

Or maybe you've gone the other approach, like, well, I'm just gonna sit here, and if God really wants to do it, God's gonna have to do it.

And by the way, sometimes you will.

But I'm just gonna sit here. I'm not gonna do anything.

But here's what's missed. In the Greek language, there's a third voice.

It's called the middle voice. We don't have it in English. At best, the closest thing would be something that's like reflexive at best, but it's confusing. And so here's what it is. Here's how it would look, at least in English, but it's not perfect. It's called the middle voice. And it's where I participate in the results of an action that someone else has initiated, okay? Listen, I participate in an action that someone else initiated, and I receive the results of it. So in English, it would be that I take counsel, meaning that someone gave me counsel, I took it, and then I ran with it. I did what they actually said. And here's the reason why I'm like, why are you giving me all this nerd lessons?

With very few exceptions. In fact, I can't actually find the exceptions, with almost no exceptions.

Every time that prayer is mentioned,

it is told in the middle voice.

Every time it's in the middle voice.

It is not your works that will ever allow you to see the results. It is not your active prayer life that is gonna do it. It is also not your passivity that is gonna do it. It is when you realize that the very voice of God is already going forth, and you say, I want some of that. So God, I'm gonna pray, and I'm gonna ask, and I'm gonna align with your kingdom, and realize that I am not the one who initiated that. In fact, saints have gone far before me, and your heavenly choir is always praying before you, and your message is true, but I am the recipient, and so I am gonna step into this moment, and when I pray, whether it's the Lord's Prayer, or the mint, or I give gratitude, or I'm petitioning for you, or I'm asking on someone else's behalf, I'm connecting with a voice that has already existed before me.

It is neither active nor passive. It is being led by the Holy Spirit, and participating with His words.

And what does that mean?

It means that there's something that's happening that is not about what you're doing, or not doing, it's about who He is.

And you see, all of prayer is this building of intimacy.

Asking is the language of intimacy.

When you are intimate with someone, you're willing to ask them. In fact, the more intimate you are with something, the more you ask of them. I've got two examples for you, okay? The first one is, when me and my wife, we go to dinner,

and we sit there, and we're eating, and we get closer to the end, and I can see, because she's wise, and because she has portion control, and because I think I see that she's slowing down on her plate, that's when I start getting ideas.

And I'm willing to go to her, and because we're close,

because we've been around a long time, and I can say, "Hey, you gonna finish that?"

And most of the time, she says, "No, have as much as you want."

And I'm like, "Yeah." Maybe I even order with that in mind, like, "She won't finish that."

(Laughs) And I go in there, and I do it. Now, if you and I go to lunch,

and I see you're slowing down, and you're like, unburdening yourself with stuff, and I notice you're like, not gonna finish, it would be really weird, I was like, "Hey, you gonna finish that?"

Why? Because we're not close like that.

Like, we know. And I can tell you this for sure. If you ask me, the answer's no. You can't have it, I am gonna finish it.

It took me probably 20 of the 21 years for me to get to the point where VB can ask me for something, and I say yes.

Because I plan that out every Friday. Like, we're not one of those, like, let's share meals. It's like, if she says, "I don't want fries," it's like, I was very upfront, you're not gonna eat my fries.

Because every fry is ordained by the Lord.

So don't ask.

But the Lord's done a work in my heart, and our enemies have grown. And now she can ask me, "Can I have some of your fries?" And I will say yes, and mean it. My kid's not so much.

And you don't ask.

But maybe one day the Lord will keep working on me.

There's an answer to it. The more intimate you are with something, the more you ask. But I had an example that came up, and man, it really illuminated something. You know, we had a garage sale this week in my neighborhood. And some people I know you love garage selling, some of you don't. Like, I like the idea, but here's the thing that I've never been comfortable with. And it's the whole haggling bartering thing, right? I know some of you, you love it, and some of you, you hate it. Like, for me, I think it's offensive. I think it's rude. I think it wastes my time. Like, spending so long for a nickel, it's just at some point, like, I'll pay the nickel. Like, I don't even wanna hear this anymore, right? Like, it's just, and I don't, some of you, it's your jam, right? But for me, it's like, I don't wanna do that. But I've come to the realization over time

that that is a very Western perspective. Like, we don't value the language of bargaining and of talking through things. We don't value that. And the reason is, is because there's many reasons. But when you look at cultures that are more established, right, so Near East and Far East cultures, African cultures, South American cultures, like, that is something that's actually ingrained into the very core of who they are and how they interact. And so my wife, like, negotiating is in her blood. Like, Colombians love it. Like, my wife's here, we've got other Colombians in their, like, it's in their blood, like, it's part of who they are. And here's the thing, and this is the thing I heard someone say this the other day,

that the reason that you negotiate is not because you're just trying to get a better price, but it's because that is the very idea, the concept that builds intimacy between two people,

that the negotiation brings relationship.

And it actually shows value both to the product and to the person selling it. And in fact, the rudest thing you can do within that cultural context is to go to someone and be like, I'll pay full price. Because all you're saying is, you're not worth my time, your product is just not worth any kind of conversation, and I'm just gonna take it, and that's what I think of you. It's actually offensive. So, apparently I've been offending people all over the place. I got a rep in Cancun that's real bad.

Because I don't want to negotiate. So, when things come to negotiating, the few things in our world that have negotiated, I just sit in my wife and she does really great, she loves it. And they're best friends, she buys some cookies, and that's all that kind of stuff.

But negotiating, asking, is a language of intimacy. Negotiating the intimacy, and listen, there's a lot of examples of this, but this one I think, think about this. Think about the story of Abraham and Sodom and Gomorrah.

Do you remember that story? Sodom and Gomorrah were sinful, there was no, and he said, I'm going to destroy them.

And Abraham had a nephew that was there, Lot,

who by the way shouldn't have been with him, that's a whole nother story.

And so he goes to God. Do you remember what he does? And he says, God, you're so good, you're so holy, but would you destroy Sodom

if there were 50 righteous people there?

Now, when you first read this, remember, I was like, is Abraham okay? Like, he knows he's talking to God, right? Like, what a wild request.

And Abraham, as God says, yeah, if there were 50 righteous people, I'd save Sodom and Gomorrah.

And he's like, oh, you're so good, you're so holy, I would never divide any. But question, if there was like five short,

and there's 45 instead of 50,

would you tell them for five people, would you do that? And he's like, okay, if there's 45, I'd do it.

And then he goes, yeah, what about 40? And at this point, you're like, Abraham, bro,

simmer down, dude. Like, you're not even there. And he's like, okay, 40. And then he goes to 30.

God's like, yeah, I'd do 30. 20?

Okay, I'll do 20.

So last time, okay, last time.

10?

So sure, 10. Now, when we read the story, we think, oh my gosh, he's lost his mind.

Or you read the story, and I've heard a lot of people being like, is this this one? Can God's mind be changed? Is he changing his mind? Is he doing something? Or is this like this whole step down petition thing? Or is it the side? And I think we miss the point.

The point is, because of intimacy and building this thing, Abraham was negotiating with God to find out how close are we.

How close are we? But here's the missed point that I've missed my entire life.

The story wasn't God's judgment, he read up high for him, the story was this.

Abraham didn't get God to his lowest price.

He stopped at 10.

And he said, okay. But you see what God's shown time and time again, as he said, yeah, you can't find 10 righteous people, but you know what? I would go all the way down that if there was one righteous person, I would spare the entire city if there was just one, because that is the very truth of who I am. And we see that time and time again, whether it was Abraham or Moses or Noah or all these different stories that God said, if there's just one, I'll stop.

You see what it actually proves is that Abraham didn't know God as well as he thought,

because he stopped at 10.

And if it were to ask for one, it would look different.

He stopped at 10, because he wasn't close enough to believe that God would do it for just one.

God's so into one, when Israel was sinning, and they needed to be judged, and they needed to go to Babylon, and they needed to go to the consequences because he had the ultimate one, Jesus Christ in mind, he actually told Jeremiah, do not pray and ask for forgiveness on their behalf, because if you do, I'll forgive them for one.

See, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is this moment of someone pressing in and like, how close are we? How good are we?

You see, when we ask God,

we're not trying to get some vending machine, God. We're partnering with the mission and the kingdom of God. We are praying the prayer that goes before us. We are linking with the voices that came in front of us. And so when we're asking God, like, God, will you spare this? Will you move here? Will you heal this? Will you fix this? Will you restore this? Will you provide here? Whatever the ask is, we're basically reminding our souls how intimate our relationship is and how close and how connected we are. And I'm gonna continue to ask. And even if the answer is no, just like occasionally my wife says, I can't have her leftovers, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love me.

It means there's other plans.

But I can ask, I can ask, I can ask, because it's not offensive to ask God. In fact, the more, less you ask, the further away and intimacy you are. You get to ask, ask and it will be given. Seek and you will not, and you will receive. Knock and it will be open to you. Ask, anything you ask in my name will be given to you because the heavenly Father loves you and his Spirit goes forth in power.

In what we see with the New Testament authors who are trying to take all this and we see what Paul does and we see what Peter is, these people who are going through really, really hard situations, being persecuted and beaten and broken and offering prayer.

Here's what's amazing about what they ask for.

They don't pray their problems,

they pray God's promises.

They don't pray that their problems disappear, they pray that God's promises break forth. They don't pray that the darkness ceases, they pray that the light shows up. So you don't have to pray that something specific has changed. You can pray that God's healing power comes over the entire life of everyone in your family. You don't have to come against the bills that are piling up. You can thank God for the provision. You can remind him of his promises. God, would you do it for just one? Because I'm just one and you've done it for many others before, will you do it for me now? You are a God who's been faithful for generation after generation and I wanna call on your name, the one who said that I will love you for a thousand generations, who will remove my sin as far as east is from the west, who is my God and my healer. I am calling on your promises today.

You promised it. You promised it and so I'm gonna see your promises and I believe that I will see your goodness here in the land of the living.

There's promises, there's intimacy, and I get to ask.

And asking can be vulnerable and asking can be scary.

In this process, God's been doing a lot in my heart

and realizing that there's things that I just refused to ask because I was so worried what the answer would be. Because I was so worried what the answer would be.

But I've realized that that was me not believing that he's good to me.

So I'm asking for things I've never asked for.

Personally, I'm asking for things in this church that I've never asked for.

I'm asking for things in speaking his promise and speaking his promise and speaking his promise and speaking light over darkness because I believe that God wants to do something that he's never done here in this church. I believe that something is happening in this body of believers.

And so I'm asking,

would you do it for one?

I know you do it because you already sent Jesus.

And if that's the only thing I received, it was enough.

But you, because of the great love that you have for me, have invited me to ask for more.

So I'm gonna ask.

I'm gonna ask and I'm gonna ask.

And not only am I gonna ask for myself, I'm gonna ask on behalf of others because I read this quote from Richard Foster. It said, "If we truly love people,

we will desire for them far more than it is within our power to give them.

And this will lead us to prayer.

Intercession is a way of loving others.

If in your relationships, all you're busy doing is like, they don't do this, they don't do that, they won't fix this, they won't change that, they won't give me this, they didn't do this, they didn't say I love me, they didn't do this, and all is focused on the problem, then you are missing what it means to be an intercessor and to stand in prayer because instead of complaining about all the thing that the other person is not doing, you get the opportunity to instead say, "God, I desire for them more than I can give and so I'm gonna pray that your goodness begins to break forth in their life, to break forth in their life." And when you begin to lift up in prayer, this person who is your partner, your spouse, there's other things, the family members, it begins to transform and open things up and the floodgates of heaven will begin to show forth and you know what, not only does it give God opportunity to move in their life, it begins to move in your life as well.

It's transformative, it's transformative.

Prayer is a way that we can repair the broken intimacy between us and God. (Gentle Music) The areas that I'm most worried to ask God for anything are the areas that I have this fear that He won't show up for

which means I'm lacking trust in Him.

And I can take that fear right to Him

and allow Him to heal it.

Here's what I'm gonna do today, church.

I'm gonna ask everyone to stand up right where you're at.

And maybe you're here today and you're hearing this talk about prayer

and you're standing here and you've never made a decision

to accept Jesus as your Savior.

The good news of the kingdom

is that by the work of one man, Jesus Christ,

He made it where all of us who believe in Him

can have access to the heavenly throne room of God's grace

who can boldly go before our Father and pray and ask and believe that He has good things for us.

And so today, if you're here

and you've never made that decision,

I'm gonna invite you to say a prayer. Everyone's gonna repeat it. And it's a moment of just accepting that sacrifice today, of accepting the one in your life of Jesus Christ.

So let's pray today. Everyone say, "Dear heavenly Father,

"thank You for sending Jesus to die on my behalf

"so my sins could be forgiven,

"my heart could be set free.

"Thank You for Your love for me." For in Jesus' name we pray.

We've had about for just a minute. If you made that decision today, anywhere in the room, would you just raise your hand up real high?

Anywhere in this room, just raise it up just so I can acknowledge you today.

If there's any hands up, they can go down.

Father God, today,

for everyone who's here in this room, as we're learning and growing and moving forward in prayer,

Lord, help us partner with you in prayer.

Help us realize that Jesus is already interceding on our behalf, that we can partner with you in the words that He says.

And not only can we actively participate, but we can actively receive the goodness of what you are doing in our lives.

Lord, help us come to you with gratitude.

Help us come to you vulnerable in our suffering and our hardships.

Lord, help us ask and believe that you are a good father,

that we can come to you, be shaped by you, a time in which prayer changes us as well as it changes the world around us and allows us to become men and women who partner in your creative power of bringing new creation everywhere we go.

The areas in our life where we can't ask,

help us open those places of vulnerability to you.

Speak new life and new power,

a new ability and faith to ask.

To see that He is good.

And Lord, for the times that we're waiting,

patience that we believe that we'll see your faithfulness here in the land of the living.

We thank you for that. It's in your holy name we pray, amen and amen. Well church, listen, we love you so much. You don't wanna miss next week. We're continuing this series, but you have a wonderful fall Sunday afternoon and we will see you next week. Have a great day.